This cloud 

The loudest cloud  

It inhabits my  

Troubled mind  

So full of thunder 

The deafening roar of it  

Created from  

The unwanted thoughts  

Of you 

And her  

Together 

Tranquility 

Undermined  

No relief in sight 

Whatsoever 

A prisoner  

Trapped between  

My very own 

Temples 

Ever since I  

Caught 

You. 

Longing for a  

Transcendental 

Escape  

From here 

Regardless  

Of the fact  

That what is  

Happening is  

Not  

New.  

Just want to 

Peel myself  

Away; 

Step out  

Into 

Silence  

I can’t  

Feel 

Myself  

Today 

So numb  

With  

Defiance  

Hearing  

The sounds  

Of her laugh 

Taunting me 

Scenes of  

The lust 

In the air  

Between you  

Is 

Haunting me 

He’s holding  

Her 

She comforts  

Him 

Strokes his  

Body 

Beguilingly. 

Lovemaking sessions  

In a marathon 

They appease  

One another  

Untiringly 

I close my eyes 

I open them 

My eyelids  

Have no  

Bearing  

On my  

Imagination’s 

Wild conquests  

My bruised ego 

Comparing  

My heart to hers  

Mine  

Melts  

And  

Drips  

Its tears  

Form  

Puddles 

It’s scaring  

Me.  

“I’m over you, though..” 

Says a distant voice, 

“I’m healed.” 

“Complete.” 

Or am I? 

I can’t  

Stay here 

In disbelief 

Sulking in 

Grief.. 

Or can I? 

If the 

Lingering 

Love 

Can’t be  

Erased, 

If the  

Healing 

I found 

Has been  

Misplaced 

If my  

Honesty 

Still wants  

His embrace 

If the recuperated 

Version 

Of me  

Can still  

Manage to  

Somehow  

After all this time 

Feel disgraced 

By your  

Shenanigans 

Sores reopened 

Again 

And again.. 

Then what can 

I expect  

To become of me? 

I reflect 

On the 

Affect 

This has on me 

And I am  

Confused.. 

Have I always  

Been quite  

This  

Resilient  

To withstand  

Being  

Bruised? 

After all,  

Just last week, 

I was telling myself  

If he ever  

Attempted to 

Get me back,  

I’d refuse.. 

The masochistic 

Nerve of me 

To respond this way,  

Still.. 

After having been 

Abused.. 

I am ashamed 

Of myself  

Right now. 

But it was  

Imperative  

That I  

Release 

These thoughts  

Into the  

Atmosphere, 

For now, 

Anyway.  

Now.. 

May I be  

Excused?